Summer months…don’t you (mostly) LOVE them? For many this may be the last time your child lives with you at home before heading off to college in the fall. For others it may be the time your child returns from college and you know things have changed. They come with dirty laundry, exhausted, and not used to the “rules of the house” after living independently for nine months. For young adults with bipolar it is often a time to rejuvenate, relax and sometimes repair. It is also a time to prepare. Although I teach at a university and my professional work is in preparing students with disabilities for life after high school I learned so much more when my own daughter, Linea, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder while in college. I don’t consider myself an “expert” since every child is different but I do want to offer some thoughts and suggestions regarding young adults, college and bipolar.

 I suggest you start by having an honest, loving and non-threatening discussion with your child about upcoming college or the return to college. Personally, I was terrified when my daughter returned to college after a long hospitalization and treatment. It helped somewhat as we both expressed our hopes and fears and came up with a plan. Here are a few suggestions of where to begin:

Accommodations - are they needed, how do you get them, and what are your rights?

 Before heading to college assure that a plan is in place with the disability student service office. Every college or university has such a place. Even if you think your student will never, ever use it, have it in place. Be prepared. Documentation of the diagnosis and what accommodations may be needed are required. Accommodation will likely change depending on possible symptoms; a depression may need one type of support and high anxiety or manic symptoms may need another. Only your child can initiate this plan. You aren’t allowed to talk to anyone without his or her permission. (WHAT!? I am paying for this education!!)  Also, know your student’s rights. Once school starts I encourage your student to give his or her professors a “heads-up”, letting them know that an accommodation plan is in place. Sometimes the DSS office forgets to send it to the right people! Linea met with each professor briefly to see if they had received the plan from the DSS office and let them know she didn’t expect to need any accommodations but if she did she would let them know.

Living Environment - Where will you live and what supports are needed?

 Discuss where your student will live and the supports that may be needed. If this is your first child to go off to college I need to tell you something…in most college dorms across the country there is drinking and drugs and all kinds of wild things going on. Yes, I know they tell you it is an alcohol-free, drug-free zone. Not always true. We are talking about hundreds of 18 and 19-year old students living together and away from home for the first time. This doesn’t mean your child needs to or will participate but I urge you to talk honestly about their needs in this environment. Sleep? Quiet times? Places to get away from all the activity? We found that an apartment was actually better for my daughter than the dorms. Whatever the decision is for your family, it is important to have a roommate who understands and knows how to support your son or daughter. It is very tough for a young person to handle even a mild depression or mania if that were to occur. Some of Linea’s friends simply went away, leaving her alone and at risk. Some of them felt completely responsible and were frightened by the responsibility. Open and honest conversation helps.

Support System - "My Lifelines"

 These issues lead to the importance of building a support system of both friends and medical care personnel. I suggest that you and your child identify two or three friends who will not only understand but know how to respond if your child becomes ill. My daughter had a very close friend who made the call to us when she was no longer safe. We were reassured to know that although she was half-way across the country we knew her friends and we had phone numbers and contact information for a small “support” group. We also had a psychiatrist, psychologist and medical doctor in place prior to her beginning school. We met with each of them as a family and our daughter signed the appropriate paperwork to allow us access to them and her medical status. I had her psychiatrist’s and psychologist’s phone numbers on my cell phone. Although my daughter graduated a month ago and no longer lives in Chicago I cannot yet delete those phone numbers. They were my lifelines. When she was hospitalized during a mania it was the psychologist who called me and the p-doc who managed her admittance. Don’t forget an advanced medical directive.

What if it takes more than four years?

I have so much more to write yet want to keep this short! My last piece of advice for now is to plan on college taking longer than the typical four years. Linea took reduced course loads during quarters and semesters in which she was not feeling well. At one point this took a letter from the psychiatrist to our health insurance to keep coverage but then coverage changed and she needed to take only one class to qualify for health insurance. (Check your policies!) We were told this could even be an online class and we considered this the quarter after she was released from the hospital. But instead she went out on a medical leave from school and coverage was continued. Even if your child is doing well during the summer, the stress and changes involved in college life are not always favorable in supporting wellness. Wellness was often tied directly to stress and stress was linked tightly to the number and type of classes Linea was taking. She lamented taking six years to complete her bachelor’s degree. I applauded and cheered. She finished her degree with two hospitalizations, a new diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and a semester out on medical leave as well as a change of universities and a change of majors. Six years?! Amazing!

 My next blog will be on “supporting while letting go”. Stay tuned! Please respond with questions or comments! I love hearing from you!

-Cinda