Overcoming Bipolar Disorder: 22 Year Old Mental Health Activist Raises Awareness Nationwide
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Marley Prunty-Lara made a huge impression when CABF representatives heard her speak at a Congressional briefing on early diagnosis and treatment in Washington, D.C. CABF public policy director, Melissa Lackman, recently spoke with Marley about her personal experience with bipolar disorder and her emerging role as a national mental health activist.
CABF: Hi Marley, thanks so much for agreeing to share your story with our members. We know there are many high school and college-aged people in our member families. Could you tell us a little about how your bipolar illness has affected your education in the past?
Marley: In my first year of high school, I was a champion debater and a leader among my peers. I compensated for my moods by filling my days with as many activities and projects as possible. I hardly slept and spent most of my time out of the house with numerous friends. As my illness progressed, depression set in and I lost the spark that teachers would often tell my parents they wanted to clone in order to pass on to other students. I found myself struggling just to get out of bed in the morning and go to school. I would have ten panic attacks a day, with continuous waves of nausea and feelings of complete entrapment. I rarely left the house and isolated myself from friends and family. After returning from seeking residential treatment out of state, the stigma associated with having a mental illness was overwhelming. I was the first person my high school had ever heard of to have bipolar disorder. My teachers would call my mom and question her parenting when I could not show up for class. It was widely regarded that I was on drugs, spoiled, or simply lazy. For a while, I chose to ignore these fallacies, but they took their toll on my willingness to continue on despite my illness. After being the first person in my school district to be enrolled in both special education and an AP class, I was exhausted. I no longer wanted to set the precedent and be the example. Throughout my junior year, my illness grew worse and left me barely able to function on a daily basis. I made the only decision I had left to make. I dropped out of high school and got my GED.
CABF: Somehow you were able to get past the really hard times and create new dreams for yourself. Can you point to what helped you to begin to feel better? Was there a turning point for you?
Marley: For me, I had to come to terms with my illness before I could really begin to take the necessary steps to get my life back on track. No one could fix my disease and make it magically go away; I will always have bipolar disorder and may need to do things a little differently than other people to succeed. I needed to figure out that having bipolar was not the end of the road; that resiliency was possible; that there was something better out there for me. I always wanted to be well again but there was a certain amount of comfort in feeling miserable--I knew what to expect and what the next day would bring. What enabled me to make incredible strides was a great psychiatrist with whom I was able to maintain a continuity of care. Finding the right medications, taken at the same time every day, enabled my brain to function at a healthy level again. I was then able to refocus my attention on the hardest part--re-teaching myself how to live and accomplish tasks without being limited by the severity of my illness.
CABF: What did you (or others) do initially that helped you get back on track with your education? What worked, and what did not work for you in trying to turn things around?
Marley: My mother gave me the most amazing gift when it came to my education: she taught me that it is okay to not always succeed. When I was really sick and could not go to school, she didn't make me feel like I was a horrible person or a failure. Rather, she advocated on my behalf, talking to the school about alternative ways for me to learn. She understood that what I wanted and what I was able to do were two separate things. I do not do well when pushed. I need to figure things out in my own way, at my own pace. Even when the school did not understand that, I was comforted by the fact that my family did. Their compassion, quietly strengthening my resolve, encouraged me to keep trying, even if I wasn't always able to succeed or do my best.
CABF: Do you have any advice for families and friends of students who are really struggling with their illness right now?
Marley: Know that not everyone is going to understand. You do not have to have all the answers or solutions. It is okay to be wrong and make mistakes. The important thing is to keep trying--the person with bipolar disorder gains tremendous strength from others' resolve. There were times when I was too ill to answer the phone or go out with friends, but I will never forget the friends who kept calling anyway. The person you remember is still there; think of how amazing and courageous your loved one is and who they will be when the worst is over. Forgetfulness is a great coping mechanism. Listening matters--even when you cannot understand or fix the problem. My mom reminds me that she started each day as a new day, forgetting what happened the day before. She also spent a lot of time researching and learning about bipolar disorder and ways she and others could help me.
CABF: What are you doing these days to pursue your new dreams?
Marley: I visit Washington, D.C. on a regular basis to meet with members of the Senate and House. I spend much of my time lobbying for various pieces of legislation, including mental health parity. Recently, I spoke to a group of Minneapolis lawyers who volunteer to represent children in the Minnesota foster care system. I addressed the challenges facing those with pediatric bipolar disorder. I am majoring in Public Policy at the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities. My current goals include working toward the passage of a federal mental health parity law and increasing awareness about the enormous impact effective treatment has on people's lives.