An Interview with "Jane Doe" (14)

The following interview was conducted by a CABF board member and a 14-year-old girl with bipolar disorder, who chose the pseudonym Jane Doe.

CABF: Jane, please tell us a bit about yourself.

Jane: I am 14 and am in 9th grade.

CABF: How would you describe yourself?

Jane: I'm gregarious. I love to talk, write poetry, do karate, act, and debate.

CABF: Do you have any pets?

Jane: I have two cats. I like having pets around because I can tell them anything, and whenever I feel bad, I can give them a hug.

CABF: What is your favorite music?

Jane: Third Eye Blind and Britney Spears

CABF: Do you have a best friend?

Jane: I have seven best friends that give me unconditional support and encouragement in everyday situations.

CABF: Do you have a boyfriend?

Jane: I've never had a boyfriend because I want to be happy with myself when I let someone else into my life.

CABF: What's your favorite t.v. show?

Jane: Mash and I Dream of Jeannie. I like jokes and I like thinking that maybe I have a little of the magic that Jeannie has, inside myself.

CABF: What's your favorite movie?

Jane: My favorite movie is The Mummy because I love adventure and I adore romance.

CABF: What's your favorite book?

Jane: My favorite books are the Arthur series meant for second and third graders, because they help me to remember the good old days.

CABF: Did you ever have a teacher you've really liked?

Jane: My favorite teacher was Jeanette. She always told me that a person's character is judged by truth to thyself and love for others.

CABF: What kind of neighborhood do you live in and what kind of school do you go to?

Jane: I live in a very suburban, ritzy society. My school is an open campus and is very ancient and known for it's education and arts.

CABF: How old were you when you first found out you have bipolar disorder?

Jane: Nine years old.

CABF: So, you've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for how many years?

Jane: Five.

CABF: What do you think caused you to have it?

Jane: Genetics.

CABF: What was happening to you or going on in your life at the time it was first diagnosed, and how were you acting?

CABF: I was scared of everything and very paranoid and sad without any reason. It was triggered by someone's death. I was sent off to camp where I became very afraid of the surroundings and returned home early. That was my third time at camp and before this I loved it.

CABF: What is it like to feel depressed?

Jane: It's saddening and lonely.

CABF: Did you ever have suicidal thoughts?

Jane: Yes. I almost did commit suicide, but every time that feeling came, I remembered my loved ones and I was going to get over it.

CABF: What is it like to feel manic?

Jane: It's to be too hyper and jumpy even though nothing is exciting or happy and there's no cause to be that way.

CABF: Did you ever have any other feelings (like fears) that seemed weird to you or scared you?

Jane: I used to be scared there would be no bathroom when I needed one.

CABF: What was the worst you acted when the bipolar disorder wasn't under control?

Jane: Yelling and pounding on the floor.

CABF: What medications have you taken for bipolar disorder?

Jane: Lithium, Depakote, Ritalin, Prozac, Buspar, Klonopin, Wellbutrin, Paxil and Xanax, but not all at the same time

CABF: Do the medications work?

Jane: Some of them worked with a lot of side effects such as stomach aches, nausea, headaches, and manic feelings. Some medications didn't have any effect.

CABF: Has there ever been a time when having bipolar disorder hasn't been a problem or just barely a problem?

Jane: Recently, when all my meds started working again. But, no matter what, there's always a problem. You still know it's going to come back.

CABF: Is there anything you don't like about taking medications?

Jane: Having to get blood tests.

CABF: Do you see a doctor for this condition?

Jane: I see two psychiatrists -- one for talking, and the other strictly for medications.

CABF: How often?

Jane: Twice a month and maybe more.

CABF: What do you do when you go in to see the doctor?

Jane: Say what the problems are, and try to get out of there as fast as possible.

CABF: How do you feel about going to a doctor about this?

Jane: I don't like going to doctors, but on the other hand I don't like being sick.

CABF: Does having bipolar disorder ever make it hard for you in school?

Jane: Yes, it affects my attention in class and my attention at doing my homework.

CABF: Do you get any special help from the school?

Jane: Not much. My resource person tries to talk to my teachers, but it really doesn't do any good.

CABF: Did you tell any of your friends you have bipolar disorder?

Jane: I've told my seven closest friends, who I've known since elementary school. I told them because when I got scared, I didn't want them to think I was avoiding them.

CABF: What was the reaction of your friends?

Jane: Some didn't believe me. Some asked how they could help. Some just gave me a hug.

CABF: Do your friends know you take medication?

Jane: Five of them do.

CABF: What do you tell them you take medication for?

Jane: For a lack of salt in the brain, and anxiety.

CABF: Did you try to explain to any friend what bipolar disorder is?

Jane: Yes.

CABF: Do you have a simple reason to give why you can't do things sometimes, other than saying you've got bipolar disorder?

Jane: Yes, I say my parents are bitches and this works because they think their parents are the same.

CABF: How did you describe bipolar disorder to your friends?

Jane: I read them the definition from the dictionary.

CABF: Do you think your teachers or any teacher should know you have bipolar disorder?

Jane: No, it's none of their business. I'd rather fail than have them havepity on me.

CABF: Did you ever tell a teacher you have bipolar disorder?

Jane: Yes, in order to graduate.

CABF: Did your parents ever tell teachers you have bipolar disorder?

Jane: No.

CABF: If you told a teacher, what was the teacher's reaction?

Jane: I told one teacher, and she treated me the same but gave me more perks.

CABF: Do you think other close family members, like grandparents, should be told?

Jane: Yes, because then you can talk to them about concerns.

CABF: How do you feel about having bipolar disorder?

Jane: I hate it.

CABF: Do you want to some day get married and have children?

Jane: Yes, as many children as I can have.

CABF: Do you think you'll be able to have a good life even with bipolardisorder?

Jane: I hope so because I love men and I love children.

CABF: Are you concerned that any of your children might have a mood disorder? Would that stop you from having kids?

Jane: No, because since I have it, I would know how to deal with it. I think that life should not be denied.

CABF: What do you want to do for a career when you are an adult?

Jane: I want to be either a teacher (about 3rd grade) or a detective for the police.

CABF: Do you think having bipolar disorder will interfere with this in any way?

Jane: No. Except, there are rules for being in a police station and some people don't pass them.

CABF: Do you think your parents treat you differently because of the bipolar disorder?

Jane: No.

CABF: Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Jane: Yes. I have a sister (17) and a brother (20).

CABF: Do you think your brothers or sisters treat you differently because of the bipolar disorder?

Jane: No.

CABF: What do you wish your parents would do differently?

Jane: I wish they would talk about the issue (bipolar disorder) less.

CABF: What are the worst parts of having bipolar disorder?

Jane: Feeling out of place, but even that goes away.

CABF: Are there best parts of having bipolar disorder?

Jane: People always like my hyper side and my attitude and my literary capabilities.

CABF: Do you know anyone else with bipolar disorder? Any family, friends, or famous people -- and how able were they to deal with it?

Jane: Yes, I know a lot of people but I'm not going to say who. I think it's rude to discuss other people.

CABF: Do any of your friends have other conditions they have to deal with -- like your having bipolar disorder?

Jane: One friend has diabetes. She has to go to doctors and take drugs.

CABF: What do you think teenagers should know who have just been told they have bipolar disorder?

Jane: They're just like everyone else and that they shouldn't listen to people who say they have a disability or a disorder. They should just act like everyone else and take things as they come.

CABF: Is there anything that would be useful for teens with bipolar disorder that isn't already available?

Jane: I think every teen with bipolar disorder should be given a punching bag and punching gloves. It would solve a lot of problems -- letting out aggression in nonviolent ways. Karate works that way for me.

CABF: Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Jane: A person with bipolar is still a person in every way, and I truly believe they can live a normal life. Everyone has problems.